functional and dysfunctional families

In a functional family, parents take an active role in nourishing and leading the family. Parents are role models and the teachers of the family. They teach their child valuable life skills and lead them in good example. The honest communication and provide intimacy and closeness within the family. Good parents are aware of their behavior and how it impacts the entire family. They will make choices to strengthen their family and avoid actions that will tear down or diminish the family. There is an overall sense of love, happiness and peace throughout the family.

When you grow up in a dysfunctional family, you experience trauma and pain from your parents’ actions, words and attitudes. Because of this trauma children will grow up different from other children, missing important parts of necessary parenting that prepares them for adulthood. Children are born innocent and grow up to be a product of their parent input. If a parent does not provide a loving, nurturing, and morally cohesive family unit the child will ultimately learn from watching the actions, words and attitudes of the parent. Children raised like this will typically have inadequate relationships as adults.

Bullying

                When you think of bullying do you think of high school? Well that’s what I think of when I hear about people getting bullied. But it happens in all sorts of ways, emotional, and physical bullying happens a lot more than I realized in adults. Whether people get bullied by their spouse, co-workers, and friends, this saddens me because I don’t understand why some people can be so cruel and mean.

                One of the best nurses that I have ever worked with in my nine years of being a nursing assistant, committed suicide a couple days ago. He was being bullied by his wife, not physically but emotionally. He left three kids behind all because he couldn’t take her abuse anymore. I wish he would have taken other alternative rather than ending his life, but I don’t know what it feels like to be where he was at. I know that I will miss him, as a friend and a co-worker.

Facebook

Being 25 years old social networking has been really popular with all my friends and people I know however, I never got into MySpace or instant messenger from msn until recently I signed up for Facebook and now I can honestly say I am addicted. The only reason why I did sign up was because I graduated high school 5 years ago and I kept wondering, I wonder what so and so is doing now. So one day my best friend came over and we signed me up for my own account and now I am friends with almost all my high school friends, co-workers and family.

                Sometimes when I log onto Facebook it’s interesting to see everyone status updates, which you  can write a comment about what you’re thinking than post it so everyone on your friends list can see what you have say. It’s a lot like blogging. Sometimes there is drama where people talk about other people and post it so everyone can see; I don’t understand why some people think its okay to make everything public. I really enjoy Facebook, I just like being able to keep in contact with people you used to be close to that way we all can keep your lives updated on each other.

Daddy's Girl

                Every sense I was a little girl I have always been a daddy’s girl. My mom always tells me she couldn’t wait to have a daughter of her own because she wanted a little girl she could do everything with her, little did she knew I would grow up wanting to do everything with my dad.

My grandparents lived on a farm and every weekend my dad would wake up early and go to his parents’ house and help my grandpa with his farm, he would be there for planting season, bailing hay, and harvesting season. I remember waking up each weekend early just so I could go with him. Sometimes on our way home from an busy day my dad would let both my brother and I drive his truck, we would sit on his lap and run the steering wheel while my dad controlled the gas and brakes, we loved every minute of driving dad’s ford f150 or as we called it “Big ole Red”.  On my wedding day, right before it was our turn to walk down the aisle my dad turned and look at me and said the front door is to our left you still have time to run, I laughed and replied you have nothing to worry about dad, I will always be your little girl no matter what!

                                                       My Dad and I

So many memories came rushing back to me this past week while I was sitting in the waiting room at Mayo Clinic watching an computerized board, it had a bunch of random numbers on it, the nurse gave us an seven digit number that would show up on the board and it would tell us where my dad was at, either he would be entering the operating room waiting for his surgery to begin, it also tells you when the surgery starts and when you go into recovery. As I watched the number change from waiting in the operating room to surgery has started my heart just dropped. All I kept thinking about is what if something goes wrong, I’m not ready to say goodbye yet. I honestly think no one’s ready to say goodbye to someone they love.  After three hours went bye I got sick to my stomach, not knowing what is going on or why is it taking so long was making me nauseous. When I saw his number go from surgery has begun to patient on their way to recovery everything seemed to settle down in my stomach, especially when the nurse called from the operating room to say everything went great and you should be able to see him in a couple hours. After hour and half we were able to see him, I held his hand tight and told him how much I loved him and he can never leave me. Even though someday he will pass away but right now I will cherish every moment I have with him because you never know what will happen tomorrow.

Grandma Sherrie

I have lots of memories to share about my grandma Sherrie but there’s one memory that I have, it is one that happens every year, our family Christmas. Every year its always the same Saturday the Saturday before Christmas we all get together to celebrate the Robinson’s family Christmas. The reason why it’s the same day and time every year is because our family is a big family consists of fifty five people and still growing, and to make sure everyone of us make it my grandma Sherrie decided it would be easier to have it the same day every year that way there won’t be any excuses for anyone to miss it. She feels it important that everyone makes it because our family is quite big that it’s hard to get everyone together and under the same roof more than once a year so it’s been a tradition for the whole family to get together the same day ever sense I was a little girl.

When walking into my grandma’s garage the first thing you notice is all the boots and shoes scattered all over the rug, and all the coats hanging on the hooks, you can just feel the excitement of everyone arriving and eager to visit with all their cousins, aunts and uncles we haven’t seen sense last year. The minute you walk into the house the first thing you smell is an ham cooking in the oven, then as you get closer to the kitchen you get all the other smells that brings together an perfect Christmas dinner. As I approach my grandma to give her a hug like I do any time I see her, she has a big smile on her face a smile that explains how happy she is to have all her family under one roof. That smile doesn’t leave her face until the last person says there goodbyes at the end of the night.

After finishing dinner, the teenage girls gather around the sink to wash all the dishes, while the younger kids go outside and play. In the backyard there is a big hill that all the kids go sledding down. Some of the older boys get on their four wheelers and tie a string to the sled and pull some kids around the yard. After a while, they all come back in and prepare to have a gift exchange, my grandma tries to give all of us something small every year. It’s nothing that cost a lot, usually it something small that she makes herself; her meaning behind it is so we have something that we can remember her forever. For example, last year she embroidered a hand towel with all our favorite colors on it. Having Christmas every year with my grandma Sherrie is my favorite memory of her because, just one day makes her that happiest grandma ever, and when she’s happy we are all happy.

                                            Brayden and Grandma Sherrie

Favorite Quote!

"I don’t forgive people because I’m weak; I forgive them because I am strong enough to know people make mistakes." Marilyn Monroe. This is my all-time favorite quote because for a very long time I would hold grudges for the littlest things, now I have realized everyone makes mistakes and if someone forgives me for doing something wrong why I can’t return the favor.

My older brother is mentally challenged, he walks and talks just like anyone else the only thing that makes him different is he has a lower IQ, so he acts between the ages of seven and ten. During high school he was picked on a lot, people would say mean and cruel things but it never seemed to impact him in any way. If he is willing to forgive people that make fun of him on a daily basis, why can’t I forgive people for way less?

 

My brother with my son

       

Motivated for college

           Motivation is an easy way to describe to everyone why I’m back in college. I was nineteen years old when I started college the first time, leaving at home my one year old who was full of energy and eager for his moms attention. While going to class every day and receiving piles and piles of homework it left me with very little time for being a hands on mom. After a year and a half of multitasking work, school, mom and wife I decided it was best if I put my school on hold.  There are many dads and moms out there that attend school full time while multitasking everything else in their lives and I have lots of respect for those people, however, I was just unable to do that myself.

          Deciding to go back to school again was a hard decision to make, I just didn’t want to fail again I wanted to succeed. This time around I have lots of motivation and a lot of support from my family and friends. With this being said I’m going to finish college and start a new career for myself and for my family, I am completely motivated and I know I can do this.